Kinder, Easier, Softer


This year I am not making any resolutions. Not publicly, anyhow. Yes, I have business goals for this year, as I do every year. I made some big strides professionally in 2019 and I plan to keep going in 2020. But, this year it feels different. It feels like a time to look inward, to reflect on how to make life kinder, easier and dare I say, softer. Yeah, softer. I've made some tiny steps to doing so this past year and I plan to do a lot more of it going forward. I have to.

Maybe it is the climate. (Yes, climate change is the issue we face today (IMO) and it is a clusterf*ck in America.) For now, I'm talking about the emotional/political/social climate. 2019 was unyielding in many ways and it left many of us exhausted, weary and/or broken. Let's not forget depressed. Depression is on the rise for many, but significantly more so for women than men, and more so for those 18-25, the category where both of my children currently reside. It's scary. I want things to be better, as we all do. But what defines better?

Better can mean a lot of things like financial stability, deeper friendships, more meaningful relationships, more clarity, more time for hobbies, more self care, more joy...It can also mean less, such as less stress, less worry, less trauma, less anger, less self-doubt. I have had to make some changes with respect to priorities to make my life kinder, easier and softer and it's been really good.

Here are few things I've done in the past year to make my life kinder, easier, and softer. I hired a business coach to help me grow my business, focus on my professional goals and step into my light. I gained more confidence and experience and yes, more business. It shifted me internally and it was enlightening. I didn't stress quite as much and that made my life a little softer. I splurged a couple of times and hired someone to clean my house before big events I hosted. That made my life easier. Most definitely. I listened more - to friends, to clients, to loved ones, even to strangers. It made me softer and hopefully made their lives a little bit easier. I said no to some events and parties and stayed in more watching movies on the couch with my family and my dog. Those times made my life waaaaaay softer. I worked on (and will continue tow work on) being more gentle with myself, a super tough one for me. I am most definitely my own worst critic. I let go of some old hurts and let more love in and stopped caring what that might look like to outsiders. And, I plan on doing more of the same because I want my life to not just be better, but feel better.

But, I want these things for others too. I want less struggle for my loved ones. I want more happiness and joy for my friends and family and myself, of course. I want my clients to have even greater success than ever, and I want to share their success with everyone. I want to make more money

and expand my knowledge and experience as well, but I don't want to do it at the expense of joy or happiness or connection. It's strange that my occupation has to do with connecting with others and somehow I feel that if the balance is tipped too much in one particular direction, it could result in less connections with those who matter the most. Huh.

If there's one resounding lesson I've learned from 2019 it is this - we need each other. We need to ask for help, something I'm not particularly the best at. We need to graciously and gratefully accept that help. We need to employ or engage with others that can help us help ourselves. We need to lift each other up and help each other out. At the expense of sounding superfluous or flippant, I will say it again - lend a hand, brother and sister. It's been a tough year and we all need to be kinder, easier and softer with one another.

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